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INthe Rev. Christine Shiber and her husband of 30 years divorced.

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This had been a long time coming. Being achievers, they hated to fail at anything. Several times counselors suggested trial separations and one of us always pulled back. This time, we both said yes.

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Shiber, 57, a Methodist minister based in the Oakland, Calif. Shiber said.

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And so, she exercised an option that women just a generation ago rarely used: the freedom to divorce and be single again, in their 50s. They sold the four-bedroom house the family shared in Oakland, and Ms. Shiber moved, alone, into a square-foot condo. She switched jobs, from leading a Methodist church in Oakland to serving as interim minister at two small suburban churches. She used her newfound free time to a prayer group, reconnect with friends and work out daily, losing 25 pounds. Not in church, not in restaurants, not walking the dog.

She has tried social networking, going to dance clubs, reconnecting with friends at her class reunion all marriedwaiting for something magic to happen and online dating. You might not feel real chemistry until you really know the person.

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If it feels as if the remarriage odds are bad for a woman in her 50s, they are. Adler-Baeder said. Her ex began dating between their separation and divorce and has been with that woman four years. People tell her that by waiting so long to divorce, at least it was less traumatic for their children. But Ms. Shiber recalled.

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Having her family sitting in the front row helped. After services, the family dissected what went on that morning. Because my style was sometimes in-your-face, it showed people I had more humanity. The church got more than just me. Still, she does not regret the divorce.

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The clergyman who suggested she try it is 60 and lists himself as 49 in his profile. I said maybe.

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A couple of men have tried to bed her on the first date. One year-old gentleman went out with her six times without touching her. We can see each other when I get back.

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Fashion In Her 50s, Looking for Love. Shiber is 5 feet 9.

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