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Despite what you may see on TV, plenty of people have exciting, pleasurable sex without orgasming. But for some people, consistent difficulty having an orgasm can become a real issue that affects how they feel both physically and mentally when it comes to sex. If you never reach climax but would like to, then you may have a condition called anorgasmia. That might sound simple enough, but anorgasmia treatment isn't straightforward.The female orgasm (\u0026 how to make her come every time)
The condition is a complex topic in the sexual-health world—its diagnosis and even definition are still somewhat up for debate. If this is the case, there are ways to work toward potentially having regular and fulfilling orgasms, according to Janelle HowellD. Howell tells SELF. At this point, you might be wondering how you can tell if any pleasure you experience during sexual encounters either alone or with a partner is actually an orgasm. Generally, orgasms bring an intense feeling of physical pleasure and tension release along with involuntary contractions of your pelvic-floor muscles, according to the Mayo Clinic.
But in general, s that you might be orgasming include: feeling your muscles contract, experiencing a release of physical tension, breathing heavily, or feeling physically warm, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
For some people, orgasms are that clear-cut and intense. But they can also be more low-key with fewer sensations, Jessica ShepherdM. Meaning not every one will be the dramatic toe-curling scene portrayed in movies.
Additionally, some people may not enjoy the feeling of orgasming. Totally fair! Not having an orgasm, not having them consistently, or having them under really specific circumstances is truly only an issue if it bothers you. Under guidance from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, some physicians may refer to anorgasmia as an orgasmic disorder, says Tara Scott, M. There are a lot of nuances in sexual health. Just like there are different kinds of orgasms, there are also Adult searching orgasm Chicago Illinois kinds of anorgasmia.
The condition is then further categorized by the situations where you may not climax. Anorgasmia is complex and may be caused by several factors, including medical conditions, medications, traumatic experiences, or relationship conflicts, says Dr. Howell says. Shepherd suggests first scheduling an appointment with your physician to assess whether any medical conditions like diabetes or medications could be at play.
For example, certain antidepressants can make it harder for you to orgasm. Sometimes, your vaginal lining becomes thinner and drier or less sensitive when your estrogen levels drop, which understandably makes it difficult to enjoy sex, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Howell suggests asking your ob-gyn to assess your pelvic-floor muscles. There is no single cause of pelvic-floor dysfunction. Some people are born with weaker pelvic-floor muscles; others may develop pelvic-floor dysfunction after injuries, childbirth, or from chronic constipation, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
If you have symptoms like vaginal pain during sex, or you accidentally pee while sneezing or coughing, then you may want to ask your physician if you could have pelvic-floor dysfunction. Understandably, people who were taught as children that sex is shameful or that having sex will most likely lead to sexually transmitted infections may have lingering fears about it as an adult.Legally Blonde The Musical (Pro-shot MTV)
Those stressful thoughts can make it difficult to relax during your experience and orgasm, Dr. Shepherd says. There may be times when you struggle to find pleasure in anything—including sex. National Library of Medicine. More seriously, having sex after experiencing any kind of sexual abuse or trauma can be emotionally painful. Know that it is completely normal to feel confused or terrified about sex and sexuality after going through this.
People experience pleasure in different ways, so orgasming could be about finding what works best for you and your body. Shepherd says pinpointing what you like and dislike can help you better understand if and when you might be orgasming.
The first step in treating anorgasmia is finding the roots of the condition. Instead, doctors generally recommend working through a variety of solutions. When looking for an empathic, sex-positive doctor, Dr. If you need recommendations, your primary care doctor or ob-gyn may be able to offer a referral. You can also search the American Physical Therapy Association database for providers.
Some people could benefit from doing Kegel exercises, says Dr. When performed very consistently and also correctly, Kegels may strengthen your pelvic-floor muscles, which can potentially help with orgasms, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Repeat a few times, gradually increasing your reps over time. Strengthening your pelvic floor takes time, so it may take several months of practicing a consistent routine to notice any differences. Try masturbating with a specific focus on taking an inventory of the kinds of sensations that feel good to you i. Shepherd tells SELF.
But even then, see if you can experiment with the goal of figuring out which new sensations and experiences feel good to you, not creating overwhelming pressure on yourself to have a specific type of pleasure. You can also consider using a sex journal to reflect on your experiences and desires. This story explains how you can get started with one.
Depending on your observations, you might decide to have sex in a certain position more often or use a different kind of sex toy. If thinking through all of this is overwhelming, Dr. Scott recommends consulting with a d sex therapist who can guide your exploration. Scott tells SELF. You may not know whether your feelings either conscious or subconscious about sex are the reason behind your anorgasmia. Being mindful of how your thoughts after masturbation or sex may help you pinpoint any feelings of guilt or shame.
Brown-James says. With support, trust, and patience you may be able to get in the moment more easily and orgasm. If you have insurance you can ask your insurance provider for referrals. Of course, everyone is different, and there is no right way to manage your mental health or past sexual trauma.
Easier said than done, right? These relationship tips might help, or you can check out this list of relationship books for further reading. When working through relational sex issues, Dr. Brown-James suggests putting orgasms on the back burner. In some cases, you and your partner might prefer working with a therapist who can offer guidance and help you talk through difficult conversations, Dr. James-Brown says. Working with a variety of medical experts can help you figure out if you have anorgasmia as well as possible solutions. And remember that you deserve to feel good in your body, and while that may mean orgasms—it certainly doesn't have to.
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