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And yet, she says, feeling depressed after sex — even consensual, good sex — is something that many people feel at some point in their life. A study found that 41 percent of penis-having folks experienced it in their lifetime. Another study found that 46 percent of vulva-owners experienced it at least once in their lifetime. It can even make you cry. For example, one study found that postcoital symptoms were present after consensual sexas well as general sexual activity and masturbation.

Maybe you feel lonely or maybe you regret the encounter. It can be hard to forget about body image issues you may have. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed about how you look, it could trigger symptoms of PCD, sadness, or depression. This can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, punishment, or loss, and it can affect how you feel about sex — even a long time after the initial trauma. Certain ways of being touched or positions can also be triggering, particularly if you also experience PTSD.

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If you live with an anxiety disorder or depressionyou might also be more likely to experience symptoms of PCD. If you feel comfortable, try talking to your partner about how you feel. Sometimes, just giving voice to how you feel will make you feel a little bit better.

A study found that 3 to 4 percent of penis-having folks felt depressed on a regular basis. In another study5.

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This is especially true if your post-sex depression is interfering with your relationship, causing you to fear or avoid intimacy altogether, or if you have a history of past abuse. If you notice that your partner is feeling depressed after sex, the first — and best — thing you can do is take stock of their needs.


Ask them if they want to talk about it. If they do, listen. Try not to judge. Others just want someone to be nearby. Be gentle when you ask, and try not to get upset if they reject the idea. The best thing you can do as a supportive partner is to be there for them in whatever way they need you to be. Feeling depressed after sex is pretty common. Simone M. Scully is a writer who loves writing about all things health and science.

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Find Simone on her websiteFacebookand Twitter. Whatever your feelings were, know that how you felt was totally valid. Everyone's different, and what's important for some may not be at all important for others. It ultimately…. A lack of communication can bring down even the most picture-perfect relationships. Learn how to recognize communication issues and get things back on…. Here's how to get started. Subspace is the trance-like state some experience during BDSM play. It's different for everyone, but many describe it as feeling light, floaty, or…. Scully on June 2, What causes it? What should you do if your partner feels depressed?

The bottom line. Read this next. Is Sex Important in a Relationship? Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Talk It Out: Communication for Couples. Read This.

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