Added: Dany Manor - Date: 21.09.2021 14:01 - Views: 11173 - Clicks: 9883
Thanks for your question. It sounds like you have a strong marital connection and are completely taken aback by the question, which is understandable. I would feel the same in your shoes. It sounds so simple but I am not sure that is how it works. Emotion is irreversibly intertwined with every facet of our being. Even being extremely intellectual has emotional overtones; lack of emotion coldness, sternness, etc. The question is, why?
Because of the intensely physical nature of sex, we tend to think of it as outside the spectrum of the day-to-day relationship—its own special category. I find, though, that the couples who relate together mate together. Sex is on a continuum that includes the mundane interactions of paying bills, housework, schedules, and so on. It puts too much pressure on a couple to have a somewhat routine existence drained of spontaneity and playfulness and then expect sparks in the bedroom. My hunch—from a distance, of course—is that your wife feels something is missing and wants to go outside the relationship to find it.
Why is that? What is she not finding between the two of you that she needs to take such an emotional risk of bringing another partner into it? And it is a risk, no matter what anyone says. Are there ways in which she can express some of those desires with you? Is she afraid of hurting your feelings by not saying something or making a request for something new?
Is this request for openness a round-about way of expressing dissatisfaction? A weekend away, a dance class, a vacation, a little role play? Is there a part of her she wants to let out but is afraid? Not to be cynical, but I almost wondered when I read your letter if she already had someone in mind. You might want to have a serious talk with your wife or even seek some couples counseling to help her understand how unhappy this idea is making you, and how rattled and bewildered you are in light of it.
I think you owe it to yourself, and the marriage, to do all you can to try and seek together, rather than separately, a solution or compromise that allows you both to find satisfaction; you have that rare successful marriage that has endured for many years, and that is definitely worth protecting. It would be tragic for it to slip away due to lack of understanding or withheld feelings or desires. Thanks again for writing.
Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. This has always seemed to me a way for some marriages to get into serious trouble especially when one partner wants this type of relationship and the other does not.
Tread carefully my friend. Hi me and my wife have been married for 19 years and we started having a open marriage about 10 years ago and we still Love and respect each other but My question is my wife has a hard time talking about her fantasys or Sex in general we want to know if sex therapy would help her and me to talk and be more open with each other or would getting hipmatized would be a option and a better solution?
Thank you for your help. She has been with some women over the years but mainly younger men. She has several times help secure dates for me. She has always got very excited with me watching her make love to other men, which turns us both on. At 59 years old she is still a very beautiful and sexy woman, she claims that lots of sex helps women stay trim and happy.
At 59 she regularly dates guys 20 years younger! We have always been descrete and none of our local friends know. For us its been an exciting life! She approaches him about open marriage. They are just tired of running around behind their husbands and boyfriends backs. Face it they are usually cheating already. So sad to think that today relationships are so in trouble.
Chances are she is already.
Your words are so true… tread carefully. You are absolutely correct and hit the nail on the head and he needs to hear this and stop being in denial and confront her. I would love to know how it finally played out. I have known three couples personally who decided to do the open marriage thing and all three are divorced today and each couple were already seeing someone when they wanted to try open marriage relationships.
My wife asked me for an open marriage after 21 years of marriage. I told her no, but she was insistent. Come to find out, she wanted the open marriage to cover up her own infidelity. She eventually left me with all the indications of a walk away wife.
She left a wake of destruction for me and our three. I am just now realizing that she has been cheating on me for the past 21 years. Once a cheater always a cheater. She is a pathological liar. I agree with one of the posts if you have been married for a while and your wife asks for an open marriage then she is Forest City Iowa women needing a partner already cheating on you.
This is pretty dangerous territory if you ask me, particularly since you are not totally on board with the idea. We have this notion that a guy will always be open to a relationship like this but I think that some of the smarter ones like you see that this can be a real obstacle in even the strongest relationship. I would be very scared if my husband came to me and wanted this if we had not always had this kidnd of relationship from the very beginning.
I would definitely feel that I was not satisfying him in some way and that he was looking for another way to fulfill those needs but maybe trying not to hurt my feelings. There has to be something that that she is not sharing with you but if she is not willing to tell you with just the two of you on your own then it could be time to try a mediator to help out.
Anything that you can do to generate a conversation between the two of you would be helpful. It might not be the answers that you are looking for but knowing something is better than not understanding or knowing anything at all. I think that you realize that this is not something that you wnat to be a part of and I applaud you for hopefully finding the strength to stand you ground.
I am sure that there are some marriages that work out just fine with this sort of arrangement but I know that this is not something that I would ever want for me and I could not be with anyone either who thought that this would be the ideal situation for them. And what church is that may I ask? My wife is having these same feelings of open marriage…. Why does this have to be seen as only a negative thing? We are very strong together and I think that for the most part we have a loving and honest relationship with each other, sometimes better than the couples who say that they are monogamous but then around behind each others backs and have meaningless sex with strangers.
For us it works, and I think that there are a lot of couples who would actually benefit from this set up. Hey Clausen, I was wondering if you were still on here, I would love to chat with you and ask some questions. I agree with you. My wife and I have an open marriage and the only concerns we have is regarding our safety and health.
Joseph, does your marriage feel more solid to you and your wife with the support that sexual friendships with others provides? I ask because all that I find about life-long polyamory families points to much more marital security with the added intimacy of members who know each other as committed sexual friends.
The two reactions appear to result from the responses to the communal life by their birth mothers, who raised each. This point of fatherhood in your own case is the main reason I ask about your wife and you sharing other lovers. If you have a baby fathered by one of her lovers, can you love this child as your own, and will both yours and her lovers share the parenting as a caring family?
I have four children and their children, and their children. Hopefully I will have two or more ladies me for a caring, strong polyamory family to be the parents, grand parents and great grandparents our children deserve. This is my main reason to follow this fascinating thread of honest sexual inquiry into a better and stronger form of sexual family relationships. Both of my marriage experiences where built on jealousy, and the more I discover about jealousy the more I see how it damages relationships, sex, and marriages.
Get married and you may find yourself eating those words. There are couples who so desperately want to succeed in their new venture of having an open relationship that they try to sell their choice like a product and offer to others that this lifestyle is a healthy way to remain married. It is obvious to a relationship expert such as myself that they are trying to force themselves to believe the choice they made is healthy by advertising it to others in a desperate attempt to be validated.
There are satisfied swingers here and other places online who share their mutual love for sex with other committed lovers that apparently your bias ignores. Do go deeper into this before making blanket judgement. ClaudeA: Your remarks are easily as biased as any that Lana has made. Every couple is different and to suggest that Lana is not enlightened because of your bias is ridiculous. Tolerance works both ways. Both groups try to validate their format-the monogamous as well as the non-monogamous. If that were true, then the same could be said for monogamous married couples.
Non-monogamy works for some folks, but not for others. Just let people do what works for them. Claudia, I failed in my haste to qualify the comment. It is not my view but a cut and paste of a comment from another site that i had read.
It was more of a Just Saying piece. But the follow up comments are rather precise. You and everyone who agrees with you is right and all others are wrong. Your Welcom. You have been married for 17 years and she has been reading about it and her friend does it as well and seems to work for her? Idk if you have Christian beliefs or whatnot.Forest City, Iowa's Puckerbrush Days celebrations
I will say that God intended for one man and one woman to be united through him in marriage. That is the utmost of love and devotion to tie the knot for most people. Sex should be the the ultimate way to show that love and devotion to your spouse or ificant other…not tread dangerous grounds and explore and be with other people. Rules, times, promises to do this and that and deadline is not part of being married.
The thought of me being with anyone else just devastates him as well as would devastate me. You are the man and do not go along with this. You two are married. You are the man. You stand by your beliefs and be strong. Ask her if she still feels the same about them!Forest City Iowa women needing a partner
email: [email protected] - phone:(548) 115-8577 x 3888