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Everything was my type all of a sudden. People are vulnerable and that can be really attractive. Post-disaster sex is similar to sex that happens before, during and after war, said Pepper Schwartz, a University of Washington sociologist.
There is a sense between departing soldiers and their partners that this sex may be the last. Many soldiers marry before they are sent off to war, not because they are magically seduced but because of something more instinctual, Schwartz said. Although the phenomenon seems to be more common in Manhattan, people all over are reporting heightened libidos.
But the act of sex is a very elemental, primal feeling of being alive and connected to somebody. Sex is part of a life force. Nothing brings humans closer than sex, Schwartz added, and for many men, sexual intimacy paves the way to emotional intimacy. Married folks get the urge too. A year-old magazine editor who lives and works in Manhattan was so horrified, so frightened and felt so vulnerable after the Sept.Los Angelenos Share the Worst of Dating in LA
Would I have sex with this person? I immediately called this guy I had been dating on and off for a year. I just wanted to be with him.
She spent the next three days and nights with him, at his apartment. Maybe it is because on some subconscious level you do it because you want to ensure the survival of the species, but all of us are probably on birth control. It may be a way to experience humanity and be connected.
I was so frightened. I wanted to feel protected.
A cocktail of hormones and neurochemicals is released, stimulating the survival instinct, driving up levels of dopamine and, possibly, the hormone testosterone, which stimulates the libido. Disasters and tragedies are situations of novelty, danger and fear, all of which can stimulate the sex drive. Partly, you want to hold your sweetheart out of gratitude that you are still alive.
Feeling sheepish or and guilty about experiencing pleasure when so many people are in pain or mourning is common. Those in mourning may have sex with a stranger, acquaintance or someone other than their partner, said Carol Rinkleib Ellison, a clinical psychologist in Oakland.
People need to understand that the motivation for sex after death or devastation might not be out of lust or passion, but out of a need for reassurance, comfort or an affirmation of life. Indeed, the scale of the World Trade Center attacks is a profound reminder of mortality, especially for New Yorkers, said Xavier Amador, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University.Signs of sexually excited women
So it was with the magazine editor, who became so frightened the Saturday after the attack, when, according to rampant rumors, a second attack was supposed to hit New York. The man she had spent three nights with was supposed to fly to Washington, D. E-mail: kathykelleher home. New York-based writer Lauren Sandler contributed to this column. All Sections. About Us. B2B Publishing.
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