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Finding romance online is never easy. It is 7. I know the time because the duomo, candy-coloured and resplendent behind us, has struck the hour, and I realise I have just heard the death knell of my blind date. I blame myself — all the photos on his profile were taken from his right side. This is a fairly new business that sees tourists log on to the smartphone dating app on holiday, which is as seedy as it sounds. Tinder is a global success story. Every day, as the founders recently told the New York Timesthe app makes more than a billion matches.

Still, Tinder has its advantages: provided you arrange quick meet-ups and keep your standards low, you can cram several encounters into one day. I am staying at Palazzo Parigi, a cappuccino-coloured palace of a hotel on the corner of Brera, which is where I arrange to meet Fabio for a coffee.

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Parigi has recently been renovated to a state of frankly absurd luxury. Everything is marble. Flower arrangements teeter on every surface. Then I see him, on the terrace. I quickly text an excuse and get the hell out. Later, fate gets its own back. I make a plan to meet a filmmaker over an aperitivo at the Sheraton, in an up-and-coming district near Navigli famous for its nightlife, and steel myself with a negroni at the infamously experimental Nottingham Forest bar.

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On first sight of Fabio, I am buoyed. Fit, I think, and after a chat funny! Exhausted, I get in touch with Ilaria Perrone, a year-old Italian blogger, for some guidance. Ilaria has been blogging about sex and love for two years and has become quite a figure on the Milanese scene.

Last month she was interviewed about the sexual antics of Italian men and caused a furore when she revealed that — gasp — Italian men were not the wining-dining romantics we believed them to be. They wanted one-night stands. They had desires and fetishes.

But, as Ilaria explains, the problem is that women are catching up. Dating has never been trickier. Now I love Italy and Italians, and refuse to tar an entire nation. But I also once dated an Italian man and have seen the difficulties. I met Fabrizio in in Turin, where he was a barman and asked me out. I, taken aback Fabrizio was crazy handsomeagreed. Inexplicably, I agreed to a second date. Fabrizio told me I had beautiful eyes and we kissed.

On the third date I invited him back to mine. Ilaria is not surprised at my story.

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This is most obvious in Milan, due in part to the boom of women in high-powered professions. This is where the young come to pull. These two women have a plan to teach me to pull Italian men, so we sit and drink and wait for a couple of hours, completely untroubled by admirers. We make eyes at guys, but no dice. Big groups of loud, well-dressed artistic types sharing plates of linguine spill out on to the pavement.

Over some pretty exquisite linguine alla vongole, I tell them about my fabulously crap day on Tinder.

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When I finish my story and await their pity, Marianna rolls her eyes. Tinder seems to mystify Italians. Ilaria says that apparently Italian men on Tinder are three times as likely to swipe left — ie al their interest — than women. But very few actually follow through with dates. Outside, we loiter, drink and giggle.

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The crowd seems young and knowing. But then cocktails, late nights, and nightlife with an edge all make up a growing scene in Milan. They are not like the women I grew up with — my mother, people like that.

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For more inside tips, advice and holiday ideas, go to theguardian. Milan holidays. Milan travel: Love me Tinder. Photograph: Federica Lazza. Morwenna Ferrier. Sun 23 Nov Reuse this content.

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