Added: Wendolyn Hamann - Date: 04.09.2021 23:08 - Views: 14370 - Clicks: 3210
You're on a date with someone and you quite like them, but you've yet to decide if they're relationship material. How many dates do you give it? Three strikes and they're out? It seems that, as we get older and more practised in the dating game, we also become more ruthless. We're less willing to meander along for a few months, let alone years, trying someone out for size. If they don't fit or suit straight away, we move right along.
Ron Bracey, a clinical psychologist, views this ruthlessness as a positive attribute that comes with age: "Our social confidence builds, we're clearer about what we want. We don't mind being assertive and we're not so worried about hurting another person. We're just being honest. This desire to make much faster decisions about potential partners is partly due to the frenetic pace of modern life. We want to cut to the chase in all areas of life, expecting speedy and our "reward" right now whether that be a monogamous relationship or casual sex. The ruthlessness of this fast-track dating is compounded by the fact that we get choosier as we get older, too.
We want things to be predictable and safe. And we can find ourselves serving judgment on whether it's going to "work" after just a couple of dates. But can you really tell within three dates whether you could have a future with someone? But people react on an emotional, physical, sexual level when they meet people who are good for them. It is possible to know within three dates. It's got to have that frisson, otherwise you'll have to be just good friends. Unless you're prepared to wait for the 'moss effect', of course - for someone to Sex dating in Bracey on you.
Dr Petra Boynton, a psychologist working in the area of relationships and sex, says that there's no magic when it comes to dating. These things tend to take on a life of their own or fizzle out. Give someone a fair chance, but if you know it's not working, say so. Often, we're not upfront enough. Admittedly, some relationships are slow-burners, and love can develop out of familiarity. But most slow-burning relationships begin as platonic friendships or take place in a work environment, rather than through conventional dating.First Comes Sex... I Single's Guide to Iceland Part 1/3
There's no doubt that, as we edge through our 30s, 40s and beyond, there's increasing peer pressure to pair up, which, says Boynton, applies to men as well as women. Learning to recognise that someone has partner potential is, of course, the crux of dating. Bracey says, "Even though you should be wary of looking for the Holy Grail of a relationship - which doesn't exist, by the way - you have to ask yourself: do I get a buzz out of this?
Am I excited about this person? Or are they just a comfortable pair of slippers to put on when I get bored?
You can hurry love. The clock is ticking: you've been on a few dates, but is it really going anywhere? How long to wait before cutting loose and moving on, asks Eleni Kyriacou. Eleni Kyriacou. Reuse this content.Sex dating in Bracey
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